Hello everyone!! Matt here!

I wanted to write some high thoughts down here. Ok here’s the setup… Over the past few years I have written down random thoughts in a cute little journal of funny shit I keep. Here are some of my favorite high scribblings throughout the years… Enjoy!

- Never trust a grown man with a velcro wallet.

- I want to lose evough weight to where I dont jiggle on the riding lawn mower.

- I’m amazed at how many grown men fart loudly at the urinal of a public bathroom.

- I never want to be the kind of family that takes baby carrots around as snacks.

- I went on a first date to Chili’s…so what?

- Eating ice cream alone in public places is depressing.

- Yoo + Hoo = Unlike anything else!

- Paperback books > Hardback books

- God must have low self esteem

- Old couples are the best. Especially if they are equally delusional.

- I took a girl on a second date to Denny’s… yeah, so?

- If you take a picture with a lemon in as a mouth guard with the intent of being funny… you failed.

- Boobs are awesome

- Where’s Natalie Portman when you need her?

- After 23 years, I finally met a lesbian I wish wasn’t a lesbian.

Welp there are plenty more, but I think that’s good for now, dont want to blow my load too soon (like usual)… Peace y’all!!

-Matt